I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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