She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
