Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
