Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
