my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
