You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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