i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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