i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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