I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
