Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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