rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
