THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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