I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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