if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
