Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
