Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
