just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
