Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
