with your own penis?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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