That's intense
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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