Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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