so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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