Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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