Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
