saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize