She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
