We need to rekindle our bromance
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
