I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He shit in the fireplace
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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