I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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