The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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