the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
