You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
