so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
