why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
