I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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