Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
