My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
