She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
