i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need water and some morals
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
