If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
