In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
