dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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