i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
