before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
