bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
