I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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