no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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