no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
