so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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