During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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