guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I stole a fireplace last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
