in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His nipple licking is glorious
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