your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
