Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
and you fell through a lawn chair
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
